At 35, I Became A Rookie Again

Last September, at 35 years old, I walked into my first ever rugby training session with Sittingbourne RUFC.

I had never played rugby before other than a few PE lessons in Year 11 at Secondary School some 22 years earlier (more than the age of many of other players!).

Walking into that first session was daunting. Everyone else seemed to know where to stand, what to do and what was expected of them. I was the new face, asking questions, making mistakes and trying to remember which way we were supposed to be running.

If I’m honest, I wondered whether I’d left it too late; especially after suffering a concussion in my 4th training session.

Fast forward to now, and I can honestly say it’s one of the best decisions I have ever made.

It is not because I’ve become the best player on the pitch (far from it) but because it’s changed the way I think about teamwork, leadership, learning and the importance of people.

Over the few years at Costplan I completed a leadership course through work that concludes in August last year and I now find myself reflecting on my experiences on the rugby pitch back to the leadership course.

The discussions around trust, communication, accountability, being mindful of others, recognising individual strengths/ weaknesses and creating high-performing teams all felt incredibly familiar.

The course didn’t teach me rugby (far from it) but it instead gave me the ability to understand why the lessons I had been learning every Saturday were just as relevant in the office on a Monday morning.

Every Role Matters

One of the biggest things rugby has taught me is that success doesn’t come from having one outstanding player.

Instead it comes from having people who understand their role, trust each other, work together towards a common goal and give their all for each other.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised that a rugby club isn’t that different from a Quantity Surveying practice (or any other firm, or Project Team).

• Every role is different and equally important.
• Every role matters.
• And no one succeeds alone.

The Front Row in rugby provides the platform. They do the hard work that allows everyone else to perform. They remind me of our business support teams, finance colleagues and administrators. They may not always be the most visible (especially at the bottom of a ruck), but without them the business simply couldn’t function.

The Second Row provides strength, consistency and reliability. Like our surveyors and project teams, they quietly deliver high-quality work consistently, solve problems and form the backbone of the business.

The Back Row is everywhere – supporting teammates, solving problems and stepping in wherever they’re needed. They remind me of Associates and Associate Directors, mentoring colleagues while helping projects overcome challenges.

The Scrum-half connects everyone. Communication flows through them, and they keep the whole team moving in the same direction. As a Associate Director this is what I see my role being like, which is different to my role in rugby where I am in the second row.

The Fly-half reads the game, adapts under pressure and gives the team confidence in the decisions being made. That’s a quality I see in our Directors and Senior Leadership, setting the direction of the business while empowering others to perform.

The Wings bring pace, energy and fresh ideas. Our apprentices do exactly the same, reminding us that innovation often comes from people who see things differently.

The Full-back has the widest view of the field, anticipating problems before they happen and providing reassurance when the unexpected occurs. In Costplan Group, this would be Aaron Tomsett.

Then there are the people who don’t wear a numbered shirt but are every bit as important.

The coaches are our partners, family and friends, always there to lend a helping hand, provide a piece of support or provide an ear to listen.

Our HR and People teams play a similarly vital role. Like the support staff behind every successful rugby club including physios, they help recruit, develop and support talented people while creating a culture where everyone has the opportunity to thrive and taking care of all staff.

The reality is that no successful rugby club relies on just the players.

And no successful business relies solely on the people delivering the projects.

Everyone contributes.

Everyone matters.

The Lessons That Happen After the Final Whistle

One lesson that surprised me most wasn’t actually about rugby itself.

It was about what happens after training and after the match.

The social side of rugby isn’t just about celebrating a win or reflecting on a loss its about accepting what happened in the game, moving on, sharing experience, and celebrating the thrill of the game.

It’s where relationships are built.

It’s where new players become teammates.

It’s where experienced players pass on knowledge.

It’s where trust begins.

Those conversations make communication easier on the pitch because you’re no longer working alongside strangers – you’re working alongside people you know.

This is equally true for the workplace.

Within a Quantity Surveying practice we’re all busy delivering projects, attending meetings and working to deadlines. But taking time to have a coffee with a colleague, welcome a new starter, attend a team social or simply ask someone how they’re doing builds relationships that make us work better together.

If approached in the right way these moments are not distractions from work or time lost, they are an investment.

When staff are comfortable with each other and have common goals; they collaborate more effectively and trust each other when difficult conversations need to happen.

The office kitchen, a team lunch or a company social may not seem that different from a rugby clubhouse.

Both are places where relationships are built long before they’re tested.

Leadership Isn’t About Having All the Answers

Rugby has reinforced many lessons from the Leadership course:

• Leadership is not about hierarchy.
• Leadership is not about having the loudest voice.
• Leadership is certainly not about having all the answers.

It’s about creating an environment where people feel valued, understand their role, trust one another and have the confidence to contribute.

The best rugby teams win because they act as one, not individuals.

The best businesses don’t succeed because they have one exceptional Director; they succeed because everyone understands that their contribution matters.

It’s Never Too Late to Start

Perhaps the biggest lesson for me has nothing to do with rugby or construction.

It’s that you’re never too old to become a beginner again.

• Starting later meant I wasn’t trying to prove anything.
• I simply wanted to learn.
• I was happy to ask questions.
• Happy to accept coaching.
• Happy to make mistakes.
• And happy to improve one week at a time.

In many ways, our careers should work the same way.

Experience shouldn’t stop us trying something new.

It should give us the confidence to embrace new challenges because we know that growth comes from stepping outside our comfort zone.

Whether that’s taking on a leadership role, mentoring someone, learning a new skill or joining a rugby club for the very first time, we’re never finished learning.

Final Thoughts

One thing I haven’t mentioned yet is that I’m still very much a beginner. I am not the best rugby player (and likely will never be), and I certainly don’t have all the answers in my career either.

What rugby has reminded me is that we all should strive to improve and keep a willingness to learn, listen and improve.

This draws me to my greatest lesson taking up rugby at 35 has taught me; when to simply say “I don’t know… can you show me?”

As we progress through our careers, it’s easy to feel we’re expected to have all the answers and sometime becoming a beginner again reminds us of where we have come from and that others (particularly junior staff) are potentially at the beginning of their journeys.

This is exactly the type of environment I hope to help create in the workplace and one that Costplan actively encourage; one where people feel welcome, supported and encouraged to develop, regardless of their background or experience.

If this article encourages just one person to take on something new they’ve been putting off because they think it’s “too late”, then this will have been worth writing because sometimes the best opportunities in life begin the moment you’re willing to become a rookie again.